The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants Page 13

  She brushed her lips against his chin and sighed contentedly in his arms. They say home is where the heart is. If that's the case, she'd found her home.

  They sat in one another's arms until the eastern sky began to take on the pink tinge of daybreak. He stood and tugged her to her feet. "Come on, let's go back to bed. Later, I think we need to go shopping for jewelry making supplies, don't you?" he asked.

  She nodded. "I think that's a great plan."

  ***

  Star couldn't remember the last time her muscles had ached so wonderfully. Whoever came up with the connection between pleasure and pain knew what they were talking about. She woke before him and smiled when she realized he had an arm and leg draped over her possessively. She shifted onto her side to watch him sleep. He was an amazing man, and she vowed to enjoy every second of whatever time they had together. She leaned closer and pulled his earlobe gently between her teeth.

  His eyes fluttered open and twinkled in the mid-morning sunlight that streamed into the room. "Pinch me," he said.

  She frowned. "What? Why?"

  "I think I'm dreaming." He grinned and stole a quick kiss before climbing from the bed.

  "Until you realize what a nightmare I can be," she teased.

  "Ain't skeered," he said.

  She laughed and shook her head. "If you say so."

  "I do. I'm going to go take a shower. Want to join me? Save water?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

  She threw his pillow at him. "Go. I'll see if I can find something for us to eat."

  Two showers and some breakfast later, Star and Shane got in her car and headed up to Hannibal to buy things she needed to get a good start on her jewelry making endeavor.

  "I wish I had a computer, it would help me sell the jewelry I make," she commented as she walked up and down the aisles of the craft store.

  Shane made a mental note to ask Neona about getting Star a laptop for Christmas.

  When they left the craft store, they strolled past a small consignment shop in the strip mall, and Star grabbed a hold of Shane's hand and dragged him into the store. She used to love wearing pretty dresses, peasant blouses, and skirts, a real girly girl.

  By the time they left the store, Star had an entire new wardrobe, filled with colorful, new things to wear. She felt as light and as free as a feather. It was so liberating to be able to be whomever she wanted to be, and do what she wanted to do, without fear or regret. The chains that had bound her for so long snapped open and fell away.

  "Thank you, Shane," she said, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

  "Thank me? For what? Carrying your bags?" he asked.

  "No...well... that, too. But thank you for making me think. For making me believe in myself again and giving me purpose back in my life," she said.

  "How did I do that? Was sex with me that mind-blowing?" he teased.

  "Not that, you ass!" She giggled, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. "Although, it was pretty damn good." His mouth popped open, and she wasn't sure, but she thought it might have been the first time she'd ever seen him blush. "Thank you for suggesting the twenty-one questions game. It got me to open my eyes about a lot of things."

  "Lately, it's been more like road trip confessions instead of twenty-one questions, but whatever works," he said. He shifted the packages so that he could hold her hand. "Wait 'til you get my bill for services rendered."

  She nudged him with her elbow and laughed, a musical sound he was certain he'd never grow tired of hearing. "Just so you know? Paying for sex isn't really my thing."

  "What? Wait, no! That's not what I meant!" he protested.

  She smiled as he blushed for the second time. "I know. I'm teasing."

  They walked hand in hand back to the car. She was happy and relaxed. She loved the way he made her feel -- young, happy, giddy almost. The confidence he had in her was enough to make her believe in herself.

  Unfortunately, her good mood evaporated when she glanced at her cell phone and saw a missed call from a blocked number.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Shane's eyes followed Star's gaze down to the cell phone resting in the car's cup holder. "You get a message?" he asked.

  She nodded and twisted her bracelet nervously. "I'm afraid. What if it's him?"

  "He can't hurt you here, Blue." Shane picked up the phone and stared at the screen. "And besides, it might be from someone else."

  Star shook her head slowly from side to side. "Exactly three people, possibly four, have that number. You're here, you didn't call. Taylor would never block his number. The odds aren't really looking so great, Shane."

  "Who else, besides Derek, could have it?" he asked.

  She took a deep breath and dropped her head back against the seat. "Michael told me that my former boss's daughter, Roxy, got beat up outside the bar where I used to work with Taylor. The last person she was seen with was Derek. They found Taylor's cell phone on the ground near Roxy's unconscious body. I don't know. Maybe she got the number, too?"

  Shane rubbed the back of his neck, and grumbled, "Are you fucking kidding me right now? I hope they arrested that chicken shit motherfucker!"

  "No, Michael said Roxy refused to press charges. She swore Derek wasn't the one who beat her up, claimed she didn't get a look at the guy who did it," Star said. Her throat ached from the pain she tried to swallow. "Michael thinks it would be a good idea for me to stop working at Harper's for a while."

  Shane tugged at the collar of his t-shirt, pulling it away from his throat as though it was choking him. "Maybe Michael's right," he said. He handed the phone back to Star. "I think you should at least listen to the message. If it's him, just delete it. You don't have to hear whatever bullshit he has to say, but for your own peace of mind, at least find out whether it's him or not."

  Star blinked a few times and took the phone from him. With shaky hands, she accessed her voicemail. As soon as she heard the voice, she gasped and covered her mouth.

  "Estelle, listen, this is Roxy. Roxy Crow. Look, I know we aren't friends or anything, but I'm just calling to give you a heads up. Derek won't be happy until he gets you back. You know better than anyone what that crazy sonofabitch is capable of. If I was you, I'd be watchin' over my shoulder twenty-four-seven. He says if he ever lays eyes on you again, he'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget. He'll kill you, Estelle, I know he will. If I don't fucking kill the bastard myself, first."

  The call disconnected and Star saved the message. "That was Roxy...Oh, God, what the hell am I going to do?" The cell phone slid from her shaking hands and dropped in her lap. She buried her face in the crook of her arm against the steering wheel and began to sob.

  Shane unfastened his seatbelt, climbed from the car, walked around to the driver's side and opened the door. He gathered her into his arms and held her against him as her whole body trembled violently. The only comfort he knew to give her was to just hold her while she cried. He felt rage boiling up inside. Derek had better never show his face around Red Vale because I'm pretty sure I'll kill the sonofabitch.

  He couldn't say how long they stood there before she cried herself out of tears. She leaned on him as he carefully guided her around to the other side of the car. "I'll drive," he said quietly.

  The drive back to Red Vale was silent. Shane was disturbed by how evil one man could be. Star's stomach twisted from painful memories of seeing that evil firsthand. When Shane turned off the highway to take her home, she tried to form coherent sentences from the jumbled-up mess inside her brain.

  "I refuse to let Derek, or anyone else, run my life ever again. It took running away for me to find myself." She slapped her palm against her chest. Her voice was filled with calm conviction, and she shifted in her seat to face him. "You've given me my identity back, Shane. I will not allow anyone to take that away from me again."

  Shane gave her a sideways glance, his mouth tipped into a half-smile. He hated to see her hurting, but knew she would come back a better, stronger per
son when it was all said and done. He felt the renewed strength and determination roll off her like giant, crashing waves. He reached across the center console and found her hand. He pulled it to his lips and gently kissed it. "I believe in you, Blue. I didn't give you anything that wasn't already there."

  She wiped away a stray tear, and smiled. "We believe in each other, Shane. It's not about me. It's not about you. It's about us. We're in this..." she waved her free hand between them, "whatever this is, together."

  Dimples appeared in his cheeks, and he nodded. He liked the sound of that. "What about taking things slow?" he said and winked.

  "Pfft. There is no slow between you and me. It's been all or nothing from the start. Don't you think?" She laughed. She thought for a moment about the parts of her past she'd carefully avoided talking about -- before she spoke again, "There are still a few things I need to tell you...I don't want there to be any secrets between us."

  "I don't care what it is, Blue. It won't change the way I feel about you," he said.

  There was one enormous truth she had to tell him -- one that might very well drive him from her life for good. And she wasn't ready to risk losing him.

  He parked her car in front of his aunt's house and helped her carry her purchases up to her room. She turned to him and threw her arms around him in a spontaneous hug. "Thank you, for being my friend," she said.

  He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Friend? Are we back to that now?"

  "No. The whole 'friends with benefits' thing never appealed to me." She grinned.

  "Good. Because you're kind of stuck with me now," he said.

  "Is that right? How do you figure I'm stuck with you?" she asked.

  "I don't have my bike here, and it's too damn cold to walk home."

  She put her hands on her hips as her eyes darted around the room. "Okay, but if you're staying, I'm going to put you to work. See if you can find us a card table to use. You're about to get your first lesson in Jewelry Making 101."

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Star dressed in one of the new outfits she'd purchased with Shane and admired herself in the mirror. In spite of Michael's misgivings about working at the store, she'd decided to stick it out at least until Neona was able to go back.

  She had reassured Shane that working at the store in broad daylight was safe, and she promised him she'd keep her phone on her at all times.

  "Holy shit, look at you!" Ami exclaimed at Star when she walked in to work for her shift Monday afternoon.

  Star felt her face heat up. "Do I really look okay?" she asked shyly.

  "Hon, you look better than okay!" Ami grinned and drew a circle in the air, indicating for Star to twirl around so she could get a better look at her outfit.

  Star told her, "Let me take off my coat first." She went to the back office and hung up the new secondhand winter coat she'd bought in Hannibal Saturday. She finger-combed her hair and tried to tame the static electricity from the flyaway strands.

  She had on a pretty, off-white peasant-style blouse over a black ankle-length broomstick skirt covered with moons and stars. Around her neck, she wore a colorful scarf with sparkly gold threads. "Ami, I have something for you," she called as she walked from the back room. Star pushed up her sleeve to show off the jewelry Shane had helped her create.

  "Where did you get all of these bracelets?" Ami asked, rubbing her fingers over the colorful bands and braids.

  Star's eyes twinkled proudly. "You like?"

  "They're gorgeous," Ami told her.

  "I made them," she said. Star unclasped a silver bracelet bearing a charm in the shape of miniature baby booties and handed it to Ami. "Here, this one's for you."

  Ami's eyes rounded. "Thank you! You made all of this stuff?"

  Star bit her bottom lip and nodded enthusiastically. "I did. Shane and I were talking, and he got me thinking about how I used to love designing jewelry. I thought I'd try my hand at it again. I'd like to try to sell some of the stuff."

  "Oh, my God!" Ami said. She hooked the bracelet around her wrist and jiggled the tiny silver charm with her finger. "Listen. I've got an idea. Let me talk to a friend of mine. I'll let you know what I find out."

  "That would be really great, Ami. Thank you so much."

  Ami grasped both of Star's hands in hers. "You look different. Different in a good way. What's with all of this?" she asked, waving her hand down the front of her.

  Star shrugged. "I've spent too long hiding from myself. I gave up my identity in order to keep the peace at home. This is the real me. Ami, this is who I really am."

  "Whoever made you think you had to give yourself up must have been a real sonofabitch. I'd never let any man tell me what I could or couldn't do. You can take that to the bank, Star," Ami said.

  Star stared at her feet, avoiding Ami's pointed gaze. "I used to say the same thing."

  "Well, screw all that," Ami said softly. She squeezed Star's hands. "I'll let you know what I find out about the jewelry, okay? Do you have any more of your work I can show my friend?"

  "Sure," Star said as she removed a few bracelets, a necklace, and her earrings. Handing them all to Ami, she said, "Here you go. I've got more at the house."

  "This is seriously amazing shit, Star," Ami said. She grabbed her coat from the back and waved at Star on her way out. "See ya later."

  "Bye," she said, waving back.

  Star busied herself by straightening shelves, humming happily while she worked. She'd spent all weekend with Shane, and it had been amazing. He had helped her with the jewelry all afternoon and into the night on Saturday. He'd ordered a pizza, and they shared it with Neona and Michael.

  Spending time with all of them made her feel like she was part of a family. She felt as though she truly belonged somewhere for the first time in a long, long time. Neona had smiled and winked at her knowingly when she said she was going up to bed, and Shane decided to retire for the night, too.

  Butterflies gathered in her stomach when she thought of how she'd kissed him goodnight outside his bedroom door and begrudgingly made her way down the hallway to her own room alone. Knowing he was on the other side of her wall made it impossible for her to sleep. She tossed and turned and punched her pillow. After a half hour, her door creaked open, and Shane crawled into bed behind her.

  He had lifted her hair and brushed his lips lightly against the nape of her neck. He slipped one arm beneath her and tugged her against his chest. "I just want to hold you, Star," he murmured, breathing in her warm vanilla scent.

  ***

  Off in her own little world of daydreams, Star barely heard the bell above the door jingle when someone came in. "Hey, I need a pack of cigarettes."

  Star snapped out of her reverie and turned to face the girl she'd seen groping Shane that one time, Kelsey. Star tightened the hair tie at the base of her neck and wiped her hands down the front of her skirt. She stepped behind the counter and faced the girl. "What can I get for you?"

  Kelsey leaned on the counter. "Marlboro Lights."

  "Can I see your ID?" Star asked.

  Kelsey rolled her eyes. "You're kidding right?" she huffed indignantly. "I mean, I'm not as old as you are, but I am old enough to smoke."

  "Then you won't mind proving it," Star said icily.

  "You know what? Fuck you. I don't need this shit," Kelsey huffed, spinning on her boot heels and storming out the door.

  Rather than get in her Mustang and leave, she walked around to the side of the building to where the stairs to Shane's apartment were. Star felt her skin prickle and jealousy knotted her insides.

  At first she thought it would be okay, he wouldn't let her inside. Then she remembered that he never locks his door and... he sleeps naked. "Shit," she mumbled beneath her breath. She glanced at her watch and twisted her mouth into a scowl, trying not to think about Kelsey up there with Shane.

  The rev of an engine a few minutes later made her pop her head up and glance toward the parking lot. A satisfied smile snaked across her face
as she watched Kelsey take off like a bat out of hell toward the highway.

  When it was time for Star's shift to end and Shane's to begin, he sauntered through the front glass door looking better than any man had a right to look. She sucked in a quick breath as he walked right over to where she stood transfixed by his sexy swagger. He picked her up off her feet and swung her around. "God, I've missed you," he said and kissed her full on the lips.

  "Put me down!" She giggled like a teenager.

  He sat her on her feet, but not before giving her a passionate kiss.

  The front door bell rang, followed by, "Ahem. Get a room you two," from Ami.

  Shane grinned sheepishly at Ami. "If I didn't have to work, I'd like nothing better than to get a room. Unless...are you here to work my shift so we can?"

  Star's jaw dropped, and she swatted Shane.

  Ami snorted. "You wish! No, I'm here to take Star to Everything Under the Sun. Piper wants to meet her."

  "Piper?" Star asked, her eyebrows knitted together. "Everything Under the Sun?"

  "Kick ass!" Shane high-fived Ami. He turned back to Star and said, "Piper Markham is Ami's best friend. She runs a consignment shop downtown."

  "An extremely successful consignment shop, I might add," Ami pointed out. "I showed her the things you gave me, and she can't wait to meet you."

  Star actually gave a little squeal and jumped up and down excitedly. "When?"

  Ami rolled her eyes. "Hello? That's why I'm here. Let's go right now. Follow me."

  Ami introduced Star to Piper. Except for the pixie-cut blonde hair, Star could have been looking at her own reflection in the mirror. It was obvious that they had the same bohemian taste in clothing. She was warm and open, and Star felt an immediate kinship with the woman.

  Piper smiled and shook Star's hand. The Neptune tattoo caught her eye, and Piper's eyebrows went up. "Neptune? Are you a Pisces?"

  "I am. You?" Star asked.

  "I'm a Pisces, too," she said. "Pisces rising. Pisces Sun. Pisces Moon. Triple Pisces. Can you imagine? Ugh. Thank God I have an Aries Venus, or I'd be like a damn jellyfish."